Not perfect

Want to write stuff but can't. Paranoid about being discovered.

Angry, upset and disappointed with J. Didn't expect him to say things he said. Didn't expect him to do things he did. Very hurt. I shouldn't take those things to heart but where is his respect? I don't want to be one of those women who don't mind being put down. I deserve better treatment.

He's calling me again. I'm not picking up. Again.

I didn't make him his soup that I always make him. I was going to but thought why should I behave as if everything was fine when it's wasn't? Just gives him reason to continue to talk to me the way he does.

I'm deceiving myself into believing I have the perfect marriage. Does anyone? What should be the limit of bad stuff?

I remember J once said, "I don't want us to be a perfect couple. That's too much pressure". I'm not asking for perfect.