Sigh

Sunday night.

J is not home.

Sophie is getting to sleep.

Maya - restless.

Darling

Darling, lake’s sky-blue eyes
And in them, grief inexplicable
They are like mirrors of the soul.
Darling, by what unknown force
I am chained to you, my beloved?
Who created you, tell me?

I burn with only one desire
Wishing to be loved by you.
Your tenderness will kindle
The cold of previous days
Without your love.
I will brush your lips with my lips
One breath for two
One wish for two
These hearts are made happy with these two rings.

Darling, what magical force
You use, darling?
I just melt from it.
Kissing me, whispering to me
How happy I am now
That I see light from my beloved’s eyes.

Nosey Neighbour

Neighbour complained about Sophie. Said she cries every hour. What a lie. Said she will write a letter to ban kids from our building. Makes me laugh.

Baby, Please Come Home

J has been staying back late again. I know it's for a reason. Work life balance is so skewed here.

Little Treasure

A baby is an absolute miracle.

To hold a happy baby can make you forget all your problems and dissolve all stress.

Enough

After agonising about it for so long, I have decided to wean Sophie. I have tried putting her on and after a few seconds she starts crying. I'm sure my milk is drying up anyway cos when I expressed, I only got 5-10mL from both breasts. It's just ridiculous.


I have tried to wean a few times before but always kept changing my mind because of strong guilt. Now I feel fine with my decision because for the first time I really feel like I've done everything that I possibly could (while still keeping sane).

Reminder

Never work with family or friends.

Learn how to say no.