Vicarious living

Amy's got a boyfriend! I'm almost as excited as when J became my boyfriend (more than 5 years ago). He sounds really great and I can't wait to meet him!

J and I might be going out with them this Friday. I still haven't asked my grandma if she's ok looking after Sophie. I feel guilty for asking because she'll be looking after her till 6:30pm this Wednesday as Amy and I are going to a musical.

I've been feeling very blah today. Craving for something exciting. I still have to cook...

He's on my side

You think he's not listening to what you say and he goes and surprises you with just how much he has absorbed.

When J was arguing with his Mum about the way we are bringing up Sophie, he was saying everything I always told him - all the reasons we have her on a schedule, all the reasons we give her a well-balanced diet (suitable for her age), all the reasons for how we behave with her. As my words were coming out of his mouth, all I could think of was how much I loved him for being on my side.

No awkwardness

Three of my friends from school are coming over in the afternoon. Kate and Sue haven't seen Sophie in ages. Had to convince J to let Sue come over. He really doesn't like her. I understand his reasons but I hate conflict and want to avoid it at all costs. Call me weak. I wish I was stronger in that regard and could just tell Sue not to come but I would hate the awkwardness when I see her again, which I will because she's friends with my other friends.

Aaron will be here soon to practise his presentation on me.

Expanding heart

Is it possible to love a baby that much?

I'm overfilled with love every time I think of Sophie. I wonder if my Mum loves me that much.

Enough

My mother asked me if J and I had enough money or if we needed help.

How offensive! Just because J is the sole provider at the moment. We are two grown-up adults who can handle our finances.

Seriously.

Life Goes On

My grandpa died almost a year ago. My grandma talks about him all the time. She says once she starts crying she can't stop. Her heart drops every time she sees an elderly couple. 48 years together.

She says that what keeps her going is knowing that we need her.

I will never cope if J dies before me. I won't.