Back again

Here I am, first day of maternity leave.

I got pregnant 4th month trying. This pregnancy has been worse than the first (didn't think that was quite possible). Nausea, migraines, bleeding. Ended up on a drip in hospital.

It's hard to believe I've made it this far. Four weeks left!!!

I'm getting nervous about the birth because I know how painful it is and I'm also dreading the first year. I know the extent of exhaustion, tension and anxiety that can come with a newborn baby.

I just keep telling myself I will never have to get pregnant again. Two kids is enough for J and me. Our family will be complete then.

I hope this one is healthy. That's all I really ask for. And that I survive and be able to look after my two precious little children.

Wanted: Baby

Fourth month trying. I'm certain I'm not pregnant. I don't know why it hasn't happened yet. It didn't take long with Sophie.

Should've started trying earlier.

Some things in life you just can't plan, no matter how much you try.

I just hope it will happen soon. I'm sick of overanalysing every "symptom". Don't want to think about it anymore, just want to give Sophie a brother or a sister.

Very worried about her being an only child.

A nice perspective

"Elegance is sexy" - husband

Not so fat

Are you feeling fat?

That's what I've been greeted with this morning by a young woman handing out flyers to selected passer-byes.

As a matter of fact I was feeling fat, even though I knew I was in a perfectly healthy weight range. I was angry at this woman for assuming that someone of size 10 needed to lose weight.

Preying on women's insecurites is nothing new but never having been on the receiving end of it, I felt quite inadequate and couldn't stop thinking about it the whole day.

Of course inside I knew that I shouldn't have taken it personally. She might've been just desperate to hand out her advertisement for a new miracle technology that can melt weight in all the stubborn places.

Still, I couldn't help but get annoyed at how instead of promoting a healthy lifestyle, there were still companies trying to exploit women's low self-image.

I know I would've much preferred to be given an ad for a dance class than fat-sucking machine.

Unrecorded memories

I wish I kept a record of my life since I got married.

Creativity block

Sometimes I wish there was no internet or TV. Then I would have to do something creative to entertain myself, rather than mindlessly absorb creative entertainment.

Stringing my heart

In love with Alexander Rybak's songs. Never liked the sound of violin until I heard him play.

If You Were Gone
If you were gone the moon would lose its brightness
Without your smile the finch would sing no more
And once in a while some waves would sigh with sadness
Remembering two lovers walking by the shore

If you were gone the days would all be pointless
And in the night I'd sing the song so blue
A song about spring and every happy moment
When I had all the time alone with you

But you're right here and nothing could be better
So take my hand and stay with me 'till dawn
And while the wind is playing with your sweater
I can't imagine life if you were gone...

If you were gone the world would lose its meaning
Without your love how could I smile again
And though the sun would always keep on shining
I'd never shine without my dearest friend